Rubbery boats ‘n’ figures

MORR9-20140131170318787496-620x349If you thought kicking the ALP out of national government would bring a swift end to Deaths At Sea and Break The People Smugglers’ Business Model, think again. The ALP continues to cruelly entice naive brown people to their watery graves.

The evidence is plain: when Abbott ascended the throne in September last year, Labor’s Lure The Boats program was blamed for the death of around 1000 terrorists and job-stealers who just wanted to be free to blow up national landmarks and work that shitty minimum-wage cleaning shift you were after in peace.

But being in opposition hasn’t stopped Labor from continuing to fill the ocean around Australia with exotic shark food. In December, new Minister for Saying the Word “Boats” A Lot, Scott Morrison, said that the ALP was now responsible for 1100 deaths, revealing that despite a massive election loss the ALP was still capable of killing somewhere around 50 future welfare-wastrels a month.

By late February, intrepid journalist and lover of truth Miranda Devine reported that the number of deaths had swollen to 1200, with another 100 people who probably don’t know Don Bradman’s Test batting average making an unscheduled visit to Davy Jones’ Locker.

At this rate, by the time the next election rolls around the federal opposition will have slaughtered another 1500. The Coalition will have to campaign against re-election to stop the carnage.

Anyway, for what it’s worth, this is a pretty good analysis of the actual number of lives lost, although the Coalition’s claim to the high moral ground on this basis is clearly nonsense. Even if we accept the argument that the Coalition’s policies have resulted in fewer deaths, what are we to think of the years of the Howard government that preceded the 2001 Pacific Solution? Thousands of asylum-seekers made the journey to Australia by boat in the five years of Coalition government before the policy was introduced, and hundreds lost their lives. (For that matter, hundreds died while the Pacific Solution was in effect.)

Where’s the outrage about that? There is none, and neither should there be. Because we can’t reasonably expect to hold our leaders to account for the actions of people over whom they have no control. That’s a dumb, logically indefensible argument – just like the one used against Labor.